Iā€™ve noticed that the deepest fears of ambitious people are always in some meta class. Iā€™ve too often heard some version of ā€œnot living up to my potentialā€. I donā€™t understand how this can be a fear. Naturally, a fear has to be something so innate that it canā€™t be solved logically. But this ā€œfearā€ has natural steps to combat it. Simply work as hard as you possibly can, and you will by definition live up to your potential. Contrastingly, there isnā€™t much I feel like I can do to combat my fear of mosquitoes.

Some other fears I have:

Being on the wrong side of things in life.

As I age, there are an increasing number of big bets I have to make. Mostly on what type of person I want to be, how I view others, and how I spend my time. What if I make a wrong bet?

  • What if the deferred life plan is actually worth it?
  • What if a company I decide to work on/at loses to a competitor because of an execution diff?
  • What if sacrificing my social life to work amounts to 0 impact?
  • What if my mentors are on the wrong side too?
  • What if the people I mentor end up on the wrong side?

I donā€™t want this to be confused with being wrong. I love being wrong, but only when I can find out that I was, in fact, wrong. These are things that Iā€™ll only know the answer to on my deathbed. And maybe not even then.

Pain

I would say both emotional and physical pain, but luckily I havenā€™t felt much emotional pain in my life. Physical pain sucks though.