Today was once again a stressful day in deciding the factors that will eventually lead to the creation of my future.
I started to think and talk to other people about university, and I realized that what is important to me is to be surrounded by people who will inspire me to be the best that I can. Even though I love UBC, it seems that Waterloo and UofT will excel in creating an environment that will foster growth. At this point, I am lying to myself of what I want to study. I really hope that I can get into Software engineering.
I also had a 4 hour long talk with Dhruv, Dhvani, and Shreeya about what it is to have the ability to create and ideate. In essence, it is just being able to create new links between neurons, so why am I not able to do it? To be honest I still donāt know, but hopefully continuing to write in this journal will allow me to figure out the answer to the question. It seems like they are struggling with the why, but I am still stuck at the how.
Other than that, I made the volleyball team, grinded on the mapping project, and stayed up till 2am doing clossons assignments. Somehow I still know that these will be the best daysā¦
āBefore starting my quest, I set some boundaries. To avoid the trap of paralysis by analysis, I gave myself two weeks to find a solution. To avoid the perfection trap, I reminded myself that all solutions have pros and cons. And to avoid losing productivity to endless dithering, I agreed to pick a solution and stick with it for a minimum of one year.ā
This isĀ a really cool method to use in starting or continuing any projects. Iāve noticed that I donāt finish things often, but I always start new things. The things that stop me from finishing:
The trap of paralysis
Perfection trap
Endless Dithering/being indecisive
My current solutions respectively are:
Setting a deadline (this hasnāt been affected. Deadlines donāt scare me anymore for some reason. I should look into why later)
I donāt have any solutions; start to quantitatively measure the value pros and cons
Biggest problem, need to create a method to be decisive
Iāve been focusing on trying to create new neural links, and looking into creating a second brain. I think I did it in physics today. It terms of being woke, I have only been able to regurgitate information and thinking that people have told me. Need to start thinking on my own. I also think that ahmed is an intellect just based off of todayās class alone.
I think I just realized another way to start the creation process: purposefully fail. Once you failed try and think how you failed, why you failed, and if there is anything to take away from that.
Once you are thrown in the water and donāt know how to swim, you will eventually figure out how to swim.
Also I am looking at obsidian vs roam, applied to roam research scholars LOL
My entire life, I have been told that marks arenāt even that important, they wonāt affect you in the long run. I think I am just starting to understand that. Some people call it āgoing with the flowā, but in pool, it is called āfuck it strokeā. I am just going to start initiating fuck it stroke, just do whatever you want no matter the risk and hope for the best. Iām not sure if that is good or bad though.
Like rousseau, I believe that closson is a good person, despite what others have told me. I hope Iām believing right.